29th Jan, 23

A dose of my own medicine

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a positive and focused person. Somebody with good self-discipline, and have been my whole adult life.

Like everything, there’s a reason or a number of reasons for that.

Last year was the year that life finally caught up with me. I haven’t worked since March 2022 because I haven’t been well enough and in November, I spent 10 days in hospital. Now, I am in the process of recovery and hopefully the next few months will see everything settle down and my return to work and at the risk of sounding a bit over the top, the beginning of my next life stage.

I’ve had a conscious interest in behaviour and motivation for many years and was lucky enough to be responsible for marketing and business development for a training company that specialises in the subject and it was there some 20 years ago that I began to understand my own behaviour and those specific factors that shape the people we are and those subjects we need to understand as much as possible if we are to consciously make the changes in our lives we so often want and wished we could.

Some things, we have no control over, our genes and the situation we are born into and then we have those life experiences that shape our behaviour. The people we are lucky or unlucky enough to be around and those life shaping events such as bereavement, divorce and serious illness.

As we experience these things, each of them must be worked through in their own way, there is no avoiding it. They sit within us until the time is right. Most likely when we have the space in our lives to deal with them even if it doesn’t feel that way.

My life experiences gave me the focus I needed. The energy came from a fortunate genetic inheritance.

So…life experiences, here goes:

1980, me age 17, my mum dies of cancer

2012, open heart surgery for two mechanical heart valves

2014, divorce after a 30-year relationship

2019, diagnosis of a small benign brain tumour called an acoustic neuroma

2020, 30 sessions of radiotherapy for the tumour

2020, deaf in right ear caused by tumour and radiotherapy 

On the upside, I have two great younger sisters, had a wonderful grandfather who was still alive when my mum died, I have a wonderful son, extended family and great friends. And I have enjoyed a good career.

So, when it comes to Positive Conversations, I think I have walked the walk.

The thing is, no matter what happens, the rules don’t change:

At any point in our lives, we must assess and play the cards we are dealt

We must keep our minds on what we want and away from what we don’t want

We must set ourselves achievable goals that give us direction

We must follow the positive prompts our mind offers in relation to those goals. If our goals require us to learn something new or take a manageable risk, we must follow those prompts and act on them

We must avoid cutting corners and over extending ourselves

We must stay focused on the outcome we want despite setbacks and distractions

We must trust ourselves to succeed and trust that the best version of who we are is enough

We must avoid self-defeating behaviour 

Nobody said life was easy. Focus on doing the basic things of whatever it is you want well and keep going. That’s the gig.



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